Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose is to help bosses stick it to their employees. It is none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly, and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating effects: employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach novice managers potent practices: the power of verbal obfuscation, how to sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability, empty promises of motivational benefits with none of the costs, learning to hear without listening, and inspiring employees by giving them worthless knickknacks. Once again, Scott Adams firmly establishes himself as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses. Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.